Broadcast 0: A brief reflection
It is very rare that I speak candidly to you all, but I find myself in a pensive space, and I'm taking the opportunity to share a piece of my mind. It is quite an intimate act, after all, to share one's mind with another.
It has been roughly a year to the day since I released my very first drive file, The Faith of Her Flesh. I remember the feeling vividly: the desire to create something immersive, something that genuinely enhanced experience rather than simply delivering one. I have, of course, released many different files since then. But there is some irony in the fact that Broadcast 0 is actually much closer to what I had originally intended The Faith of Her Flesh to become.
It is interesting that, despite placing myself in a profession centred on transforming other people's internal experiences, I find myself being transformed in the process. The themes have become increasingly complex over time, drifting further away from the literal and the obvious. Through writing erotic hypnosis for so long, I have learned something unexpected: influencing internal experience often has less to do with the words themselves than with the emotional context in which those words exist.
I found myself thinking about this earlier today. Although Broadcast 0 has, in many ways, been developing quietly in my mind for almost a year, I didn't truly put pen to paper until around three months ago.
I have a dear friend in Brazil who has, for quite some time, been subjected to me talking- for want of a better phrase-absolute bollocks about increasingly improbable ideas. I would try to explain what I was attempting to create, yet the words never seemed capable of carrying what existed in my head.
This morning I realised why.
It is remarkably similar to trying to describe the colour purple.
You can summon the colour instantly in your own mind, but the moment someone asks you to describe it, language begins to fail.
To describe something like that requires essence rather than definition.
You do not explain purple literally.
You might say that it is heather stretching across a hillside. That it is what blue becomes when it experiences dusk. That it exists in the brief moment when day is quietly surrendering itself to night.
You describe the feelings it evokes.
The emotional landscape it inhabits.
That, I think, is much closer to communication than simple description.
When I began developing Broadcast 0, I realised that the spaces between the words would become just as important as the words themselves.
We rarely allow negative space to exist.
We rush to fill silence.
Yet silence has texture.
It has weight.
I have often believed that a significant part of the submissive experience lies in accepting sensations that are uncomfortable. Remaining in positions you would never naturally choose. Allowing the body to become unfamiliar through endurance until the mind begins negotiating with itself.
For years I have said that I believe profound submission resembles a spiritual experience.
When you look into someone's eyes in those moments, you can see it.
That is where my fascination lies.
A recurring theme throughout Broadcast 0 is what I think of as metaphysical BDSM.
It is erotic in a very particular way.
Not because it constantly references eroticism, but because it uses confusion, silence, attention, the body, memory, anticipation, and absence to cultivate an internal submissive experience.
Where much of my previous work sought to guide the listener towards a conclusion, Broadcast 0 is more interested in shaping a way of being.
A mindset.
A perspective.
I never intended this body of work to be for everyone.
To quote another dear friend, I was never trying to recreate "a good spanking and calling you a very bad boy." (Although I remain entirely fond of that as a pastime.)
This project is not really intended for people who only enjoy the surface aesthetics of BDSM-though you still have a place in my heart.
It was created for those who recognise that these experiences can carry something much deeper.
That they can become philosophical.
Psychological.
Almost sacred.
That does not mean I believe newcomers should avoid these files. Only that I suspect they will resonate most strongly with a very particular kind of mind.
Creating Broadcast 0 has been one of the most rewarding creative experiences I have ever had.
And I suspect it has changed me just as much as I hope it might change those who choose to experience it.
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